he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
