That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize