I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Small penises have feelings too.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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