I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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