I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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