its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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