okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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