I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
