There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
