Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
