Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
