Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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