can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
