I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
