This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
