"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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