I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
