Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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