Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
