don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
