I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
