i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
