I am puke
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
