i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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