I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
