the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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