He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
