the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
