Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
