The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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