I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
