You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you have to choose: penises or morals?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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