I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
