Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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