No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I fill condoms, not promises.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
