i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my poor anus
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
