I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
