i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize