you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
