someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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