the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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