dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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