found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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