If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
