Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
