I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This is my gift to your gina
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
