just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
