we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
