I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
