i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
this just has baby written all over it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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