What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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