Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
