We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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