Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
