wakey wakey hands off snakey
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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