I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
