I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
