He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
