Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
