my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
