I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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