spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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