I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize